Sunday, July 26, 2009

20 things that bother people about me

1. My new roomie is a Man.
A MAN and A WOMAN can live independently in the same house and without sleeping with each other.

2. I insist doing things on my own.
Yes, it’s painful for the “limping woman” to chase the bus with those jumbo bags. But being independent makes it hurt less :)

Nonetheless, I deeply appreciate your concern. Thank you.
When in need, I will ask.

3. I work all the time.
I don’t get sleepless nights thinking how committed people are towards their work.
But I should do justice to the bread and butter I earn. Cold and hard as it may sound, I use no logic on myself, other than this. And I think its bloody fair.

4. I don’t booze or smoke.
I never took my freedom for granted. We were to follow the rules at home. No staying up late at night, no pocket money and only good grades. Boozing and smoking is just another way of life. If you think it’s liberating, good. But if you assume I ‘m “tied down” by not doing so, I surely beg to differ.

5. Eeeeeeeks, I carry a tattoo.
You needn’t be a slut to carry one. Live a little!
I love that piece of art on my skin. So please stop being judgemental about it.

6. I don’t watch romantic stuff / movies.
Rombaaaaaaa true! It's not that I am incapable of loving people, just that I don’t fancy it onscreen.

*Sidenote for friends: For heaven’s sake, stop being a bloke by canceling your plans of watching one if I am not turning up. Please go ahead right-away.
I would love the fact that you enjoyed it with/without me. And I’m even game listening to what made it enjoyable for you, just that I can’t bring myself to enjoy watching it.

7.I have more guy friends.
If I align my memories with the facts, yes, I always did.
Now, if I identified more with people who were less judgemental and least fussy but they happened to be men, am I subjective to Indian Penal Code Dafaa 302..nahi na?

8.I have not seen a single episode of “Friends”.
How big a problem is that?
I don’t enjoy sitcoms. I would rather read.

And yes, I acknowledge the fact that people are different.

9. I don’t do girly stuff.
I can get excessively ornamented as a female.
Coochie-cooing babies on the streets, awwwwwing the old couple walking hand in hand, buying a huge bunch of lilies for myself etc etc and etc.

It’s normal for a guy to do the guy things and for a girl to do the girly things. And I think I’m a normal girl capable of doing the normal stuff, but not at the cost of public embarrassment for others.

10. I don’t care what my friends do.
I very much do. But I don’t ask them to chalk out their schedule for me, just because"I AM" their friend.

I don’t fret over that possible Boy’s night out where my guy friends would go bowling and boozing without tagging me along. And likewise I don’t shudder if the girls prefer to do some window shopping without me. One can savour every bite of their solitary good times, without owing me an explanation!
Anyyyyyyyyyyhow, I think I got plenty of schemes to make up for the revenge later!

11. I am not emotional.
With time, I have become less expressive of my emotions. I translate them in to actions.

12. I am hell of a loud mouth.
If simple + straight= Insensitive speech, then, sorry, it just is.
I loose the conversation, the moment the other person morphs into a smooth talker.

Don’t tell me, what you think I would love to hear.
Beat redundancy. For a change, talk real.

13. I can’t read minds/ contemplate what people think.
Abbe yaar, hum insaan log ek electron ka position to theek se predict nahi kar sakte ...and you want me read your mind and predict what you might be thinking?? Yeh toh too much hai apun ke liye.

If your own thoughts are entangled inside your head, and you yourself are incapable of legibly manifesting it, then how would they make way to my brain?

Clarity of thoughts is a turn on.

14. I am sarcastic.
No. Unfortunately I don’t exercise that weapon too often, for the simple reason that people are not bright enough to get it!
I appreciate wit but at the same time I believe it shouldn’t be used as a license to lash out people.
And if unknowingly I get rude with you, stop me right away. Everyone deserves that right.

15. I don’t talk when I’m angry.
Generally I laugh it out. Otherwise, it gets ugly. Yes, I am capable of spitting venom.
The history of making some of the most awful speeches while I was angry, makes me least proud. And I don’t want to loose the lesson, again.

16. I throw fits when people pay for me.
I think I have a reasonable explanation in support of the cause. If the “why” intrigues you, read this :
If you disagree, don’t bother.

17. I cuss.
HaHa. Oh yeah, I do.
But I would never utter teri maa kiiiiiiiiiiii types mote-mote golden shabds in front of your parents or the elderly. But if you happen to be one of my bum-chums, you will be subjected to some jackass behavior and with time you will get used to the expletives.

18.I laugh.
No. I laugh a lot.

You see, it’s simple.
Life is nasty. There are times when I just don’t know how to cope, and then I pretend to be somebody who can cope. At that time I laugh and think, “Alright… I am laughing; therefore things must be still under control”

There is no glory in sticking out like a sore thumb. The civilisation doesn’t cease for you.
The day I stop laughing, I will be dead. And I want to live.

19.I can kill for my family and friends.

That’s an amazing foresight.
God bless the smart people. They are right.

20.I write crap on my blog.
And I get back to folding the dried laundry and eating peanuts.

P.S.1: "You" refers to people in general and no one in particular.
P.S.2: I ain't justyfing. I am introspecting :). And yeah I am a bit pissed off :(
P.S.3: Man...looks like I am mightily bothersome, the list ran quite a length!


justforpraveen said...

I felt as if you are saying
-"Its not a bug, Its a feature"
Hi Hi


Arpita said...

I'm sorry but I didn't get the context :(

Harish Nandagopal said...

ahem..!! no. 15 missing..!! maths/ missed out a point..??

Arpita said...

@Harish (Mr. Aryabhatta junior; albeit nakli waala)

Look at the lousy friends Iam putting up with! Instead of discerning the content of my posts ,all they choose to do is poke fun at the missing numbers! Sad.

Harish Nandagopal said...

totally agree, i knw very few ppl reach a separate status of "spl ppl category", which ofcourse, urs truly does manage..!! ;) so till then u need to put up with some lousiness around..!!

Elamparithi said...

i wonder or envy, how people have so much free time:)......

Arpita said...

Special people???? What crap?
You gotta be thunder-struck to believe that!
Thank the the angel Iam, to jhelo demented people like you..Free fund ka torture!

Arpita said...

Snooping in to others business is passive leisure for some peopl..let them enjoy maadi:)

justforpraveen said...

In IT world we deal with bug-feature everyday.Oops may not be so relevant here.

A problem can also be a "feature".

Oh really people people think 19. is true? :P

Arpita said...

Yeah I have heard about the whole book on it, for the IT geeks :)
If I'm getting it correct, you mean to say that what I'm percieving as a "potential problem" in people is basically a "default feature"..and hence I should assimilate it as normal behaviour of the Homo sapiens..Damn..I guess I dissected it a bit too much. Never Mind.

#19? Absolutely.Hands down!Try me!hahahaha