"I'm the girl!!"

It’s tough to put up with all those dense heads on this planet, but sure I’m fortunate enough to be surrounded by people smarter than me too :)

And one of those smarter lots includes this colleague of mine. It’s a darn pleasure speaking with her. Not that we don’t have conflicting opinions but she is mature and intelligent enough to put forth them with the most convincing set of arguments. Hmm…some days being an exception, if I may add.

A few days ago, we ended up discussing something we had not discussed as yet and as it turned out we had absolutely orthogonal views regarding it. “Do you expect a man to pay when you go out with him?”

Her take was YES. Mine was NO.

While she found it gentlemanly and appreciated it as an act of chivalry, I had something else to say. To me it was no good a reason, but a bad array of arguments! I mean there’s absolutely no relevant correlation between being a gentleman and paying the bills! A person might as well show affection and respect by striking a good conversation , listening to my ideas and expressing his own without an inhibition.

Now girls… Come On!!! Just think about it. You expect a man to treat you equal. Give you freedom of speech, financial independence, fair choices in life. And then you foist a guy to dish out money on a date because traditionally it’s always been that way! Talk about double standards. Why one has to carry “I’m the girl” baggage all the time?? One has to favour unbiased rights for one and all, including men!

Alright let’s imagine a situation where in I speak for myself. If I go out with a man for the first time and he insists strongly to pay, I would let him. But next time, we split the cheque. Simple.

Reeling in the old adage “Man earns the bread-butter” would tantamount to all those supposedly progressive females studying and working for nothing…right?? And what if the guy has just begun to earn, running a debt or in worst case still searching for a job, while you have a sound career for yourself?

Make it easy. Easy enough for him to enjoy your time and companionship without carrying the burden of paying for it every time you meet :)

This might be a very trivial issue which may not even deserve this bit of a space. But it surely reflects that we haven’t broken through the popular or better, rudimentary set of rules when it comes to A MAN or A WOMAN.

I guess some of the females would definitely be pretty cross with me and would definitely tsk –tsk on this, but I suppose not one and all have to conform to the usual expectations of society …right? If an unfair tradition was made long ago and was handled down faithfully over centuries, it doesn’t make it any fair. It remains as unjust as it originally was.

So if you disagree..call me what you want, just spell the word right.

One weak moment, is all it takes...

Luis: "Today Mother Nature taught me a very important lesson."

Arpaaaaaa: "What?"

Luis: "That it takes only one weak moment for you to give in and someone else to eat you up..alive!"

Arpaaaaaa (Eyes rolling..not used to such profound statements coming from Luis): "Hmm….Why? What happened?"

Luis: "I was sitting in the bus. A bird was trying to feed on a piece of bread on the road. And whoop it was run over by a car. Almost lifeless and shaky, it still struggled hard and was trying its best to flip its wings and fly… And there you are….It was squashed to pulp by another car. Enters in the picture a big raven…and starts feeding on the debilitated bird while it is still alive!! So you see..that one bloody vulnerable moment is all it takes.."

So people what did you learn?

Moral of the story 1: Your one weak moment is exploited enough to make your existence no less than a living corpse.

Moral of the story2: You shouldn’t eat in the middle of the road.

Tick tick tick tick tick tick-ah-tick tick tick tick tick tick

Bachaooooooo! I think I will die of an heart attack laughing!!

If you think I have lost it..Probably you are correct..one has to, after they see this video. Its a masterpiece.. Simply a gem!!!!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-PFURM9eA_Q

P.S. I am yet to get over the song..its so catchy...Tick tick tick tick tick tick...ah..tick tick tick tick tick tick..darrrrrrrrling...

How true!

"Sólo porque alguien no te ame como tú quieres, no significa que no te ame con todo su ser. "

>>>Just because someone does not love you the way you want them to, does not mean that they do not love you with all their soul.

Gabriel Garcia Marquez. 1982 Nobel Laureate in Literature.

P.S.Those who have read "Love in the time of cholera" know him well :)

Speaking with a memory...

I don’t know what prompted me to search her number and get back to her. But I did.

“The number you have dialled does not exist.”Shut up!! &%$§*”!!!!

I searched through my soiled..ragged old telephone diary for her house number.Nope.
Idiot!!You even jotted down your maali’s number but not hers!!!

Okiee..think…think…Ping!! Did you search through your birthday reminder book??

Yuhuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu… Got it..Finally!!

I stomped the telephone keys immediately. Her mom picked up the phone.Now beat this…Aunty recognised my voice!! Wow…It’s been 5 freaking years!!! Needless to say it was so overwhelming :)

Unfortunately she wasn’t home.

And although got her new number..somehow I just couldn’t get through her. After series of hide-n-seek trials of me calling her and she doing pretty much the same, but not being able to speak, eventually we spoke today.

The initial 5 min were tough.

Stupid female..you made such a huge ruckus searching her number.. now why don’t you speak??

The past has passed in a blur. What on earth should I speak??

You see its fun to remember the person you used to be (I was a dumb ass for sure!!!) and college days sure trigger some fond memories. But re-connecting to the old times without facing a trade-off with your current identity is difficult! You move on..in terms of time, space, aspirations and people and so does the other person.

We chatted for exactly 19 min 42 sec. But the conversation was timeless.

Send me your picture was the parting message.



P.S.Neha was one of my closest friend in college and the only scapegoat for my idiosyncrasies then.

P.P.S. Text in italics is Arpita thinking out aloud..just in case ;)

Silence makes sound...

I have lamented speaking…. often enough to realize that sometimes silence is far better than imprudent speech. On occasions when I preferred to be silent than talking, made me believe more and more that silence is indeed one of the most commanding form of human expression. At least I sought solace in the fact that it was easier to live with what I didn’t say than what I did. (I Love You’s, Thank You’s and I’m Sorry’s being the exceptions)

Silence, however, many a times is misinterpreted for professing consent or conducting a fallacy in support of which you hold no supportive argument.

A sign of weakness.

But times when I was silent and people thought I was weak, I think they were wrong.

Silence is not being inert. It’s not the absence of words.

You are silent when you don’t wish to attend every argument you are invited to. You are silent when it’s beneath your dignity to respond. You are silent when you don’t need to justify your demeanour. You are silent when you loose faith in a person and with all said and done before; it’s not worth a repetition anymore.

You are silent when your actions are more expressive than words.

You are silent when a moment seems beautiful..flawless and perfect without the need of words.

Sometimes, words by themselves are impotent. It’s silence which makes the sound.

Akele ho???

XYZ: "So..went grocery shopping ?"

Arpita: "Yeah..."

XYZ: "Akele..akele??? Why living alone? Arre Boyfriend bana lo..phir woh sab kuch uthayega." (Why living alone? Get a boyfriend..then he would carry everything for you)

Arpita: "Not living alone. Just chose to live independently. And I like it that way."

XYZ: "Achcha..OK..OK."

Certain things in life insult your intelligence, for instance, the aforementioned piece of conversation!! Although you laugh at XYZ later (Saala..Frusti...Looser kahin ka!!) and chuckle at the thought (Yeah..yeah I know I’m single and that too a dish! Hahahahaahha)

“Man is a social animal”. I remember writing an essay on it when I was in 5th standard. Not that I deny it today. But trust me, it doesn’t hurt that much to be alone, either.

Okiee..to be candid, for someone like me who never ever lived in a hostel, coming back to an empty room was tough initially!! But now it’s my haven. As soon as I come through the door I put on some good music, get myself a cup of chai and thereafter I can be as self-interested as I please.

I mean living alone is not a smooth journey. You definitely win some and loose some.

Hmm..alright..lets think about it!

To weigh the pros:

Your house just remains the way you left it. You make mess, you do the cleaning. Simple.

There are no scruffy towels and toothpaste smears in the bathroom.

No one to grouch if you are an insomniac and leave the bedside light on to read until four in the morning, munching biscuits in bed.

You can rely on horrible salads/ MTR ready to-eat meals, savour every morsel of milk-bread and in worst case scenario eat aloo bhujia directly from containers, without taking a guilt trip of not cooking for the other person (There’s a hell of a well guarded excuse: “What's the point cooking, when it's only me?”)

You can cuss without a fuss and sing out aloud!

How much ever lousy you may look but you can still hang around in those horrendous pair of pink pyjamas and stringy hair!

You can go on a loooooooooong walk for as long as you want (I have already roamed around half of Ulm on foot!! )

You are responsible for your own time keeping and duties. You are your own wall calendar and desk planner yourself.

And not to forget, you also learn some well aimed, key self-defense moves that might scare the living crap out of roadside goons.

So in principle you have autonomy. (Which eventually doesn’t seem so strange to you)

In argument of the cons:

It’s plausibly easy to buy too much food. So you have to keep reminding yourself that you are the only one who is going to eat. (Else fungus and bacteria have a feast lined up)

Living alone can lead to some pretty awful food experiences. You think you are in control and you experiment but later you feed it to the dogs.

It’s a one person household. So you practically run for home, groceries, cooking, laundry, trash, finances. And when you invariably get back home from work at 10 pm, sometimes it does gets difficult(Damn! Everything closes down at 8 p.m. in Germany!)

There are days when your professional/ personal/ emotional/ physical life is an all time dipping low and you got to act brave and face it all by yourself..(But then you learn to convince yourself that “It’s going to be one of those days….I will get over it” :))

You are branded an “Ice queen”. A lonely and bitter recluse who can’t love and co-habit and hence denies relationship with the human race. ( You gotta laugh this out too, for it takes far more courage to understand and self-accept yourself first before sharing your life with someone else!!!)

In a nutshell, living alone might be untraditional, but is definitely cheaper than hiring someone to put you out of your misery. You needn’t be in a relationship to be happy or feel good about yourself! Cinderella could have been happy too even if she had never met her Prince Charming..just that she never thought that ways!

I highly recommend to one and all. Live alone. Once.

Day after day...Page after page....you will realise that even if one piece of the story is missing, others still make sense.

You step out of your skin and metamorphose into someone, who for better or worse is more comfortable with oneself!

It’s a learning experience, even if you learn the lessons the hard way, which sometimes is the best or the only way.