Tuesday, August 19, 2008

"The chop shock"

Hey Jassi, I have to make a confession. The minute I saw your hairstyle in “Jassi jaisi koi nahi”, I loathed it.

But, today, I salute you for the sacrifices you made to craft that horrendous look. Kyunki, seven days have passed since my hair fiasco…and I just can’t get over it as yet!!!!

Lately, when my hair turned a bit rebellious, a few snips of a scissors called in.
Now, I’m a typical wash-n-go girl and I rarely do more than brushing my hair after a shower. So, I didn’t hit the salon with a sassy Bipasha Basu pic in one hand, and dollops of optimism for a facsimile hairdo in the other. All I wanted was a trim ... JUST a TRIM, to tame my tresses.

Unfortunately it was a morose Monday and the hairdresser in question was an amateur- big time enthu-very much talkative-ZERO English speaking woman (in a nutshell, the deadliest combination possible!!).

Nevertheless, I silently practiced my clear instructions and then action-replayed that I wanted a little length off. Mute prayers and I let her go to work. But, probably amongst the cascade of words, my “little” got lost, somewhere. Hence, till the time I realized that she was taking hair up near the crown of my head and cutting my face-framing wisps awfully short, it was too late.

Perrrrrrrrrfect. My “new-do” looked heinous and as wonky as losing a wrestling match with a lawn mower.

I wanted to gun her down to smoke, right then-right there, for the hair- massacre.
But all I could manage was an evil glare to her “Alles gut?” . I mean how else can you react; when you've just had your hair hacked up like Edward Scissorhands??

Alas. There wasn't a whole lot of room left to fix anything. No crazy glue could re-attach my hair and yelling would not make it grow back any faster. So, I gave her the benefit of doubt, thinking that it happens with a long time trusted expert at the helm too. And since all of us do mistakes, I smiled, paid and left the premises without calling her any vile names.

Now, I really appreciate that people take to a deliberate doting of the "retro look” once they see me, it’s sweet. But it seems as if I’m redefining the 80's all by myself, because my ultra-close crop which has almost scalped me is a bit too hideous to be sportive about. Consequently, every time I run across Parisa, she is torn between genuine sympathy and smothering down her giggles. The other lab members are also making a conscious attempt not to laugh, at least while I'm in earshot. And my sincere gratitude goes to friends who are trying to call my glam-to-geeky look "interesting" (Ujala) and “different” (Anand). Gee..thanks for your immense support !!hahahaha.

Anyhow, big time ranting and a scowl on my face, wouldn’t have helped me look (or feel) any better. So, I’m accessorising my not-so-hot hairdo with a smile, maybe the glare from my mother-of-pearl whites would blind people to my horrid hair!!

Additionally, I’m hunting for some good fun, like hair rejuvenating sessions in a local spa (but philhaal kadki chaayi hai), a scalp massager, a 1000 stroke brushing regimen for faster hair recovery (unless it gives way to permanent baldness) and an excuse to wear a hat ( because I’m rejecting wearing a wig off-hand!!!)

Waise, on an average a person's hair would grow one-half inch per month, nai? So even if nothing works, best-of-the-best option would be to live with the current hair blunder until it grows out. Simple.

To any degree at all, my hair is just one aspect and not the entirety of me and this fact has sunk in for good. Who knows with a little bit of panache thrown in, I might turn my strange hair cut into a phenomenal, edgy fashion trend!

Sigh, wishful thinking voices some concern. Never mind!

P.S. I had no heart to publish my stunning hairdo to the world just as yet, until it dawned on me that may be someone could advise me on how to fix it up, before my date on Sunday!


Anand said...

You have started churning out articles like a printing press!!!!!
Please don't put me to shame.
And hello, I said it was different but I did later on say that its looking good. This "retro" look is just perfect. don't rant about your nice hairstyler :-)
I thought mullah ki daud masjid tak hi thi, nahin pata tha ki woh madhushala bhi jaate hain kabhi kabhi!!!!!!!!

Arpita said...

Oh, my perennial insomnia is doing all the honours!
Point blank, awake eyes always search for the pen-paper combo…but least remorse, I’m loving it!
BTW what’s the pun intended in the last line of your comment?Didn’t get it. Please enlighten!

Anand said...

Vatsa, jab poochha hai to suno.
Its regarding the sunday-date!!!
ab samajhh mein aaya?
nahin aaya to phir poochhna, phir prakash daloonga.

Arpita said...

Aur adhik gyaan dan ki avashyakta nahi hai..kintu-parantu aapne apni shishya ko tanik underestimate kar diya!

justforpraveen said...

hummm well in the picture does not look "scalped"

Arpita said...

Yeah.I have posted the best of the worst pixs ;)
You need to witness in person to sympathize with the blunder :D