Sunday, September 21, 2008

A night I wish to forget.

Last night shook me for good.

All my life I have lived in Delhi. Even the most ignorant of the crowd, is aware of the safety of women in the city, thanks to the media people who cry themselves hoarse describing the city’s perverse acts. An average Delhite male is claimed to be as disrespectful to women as one can get. He is someone who doesn’t hesitate to pass a casual, lure comment or make a sexual advance towards the most prudish girl.

Sounds filthy? Isn’t it? But yesterday, I realized that this sort of filth exists everywhere. Even in a place like Germany, where you are not on your guards, for the simple reason that you never anticipate that it can happen to you. At least out here.

Life gave me some serious jolts lately and consequently I have not been acting my own self for the past few days. Sick and tired of being whiny and sulky all the time I visited Ulmer Munster (the tallest cathedral in the world),to gather myself up a little bit. The only mistake I did, was taking the liberty of going at 9 in the night, alone, all by myself.

While I was trying to count my blessings and all the good things that life has to offer, I realised, I wasn’t the only one sitting on the bench, on that cold, dark night. The revolting stench of alcohol emitted by a man in his late twenties made me aware of his presence too. A kind of guy with very urban..supposidely modern outlook..a respectable composure. Someone with whom you would not think twice before having lunch in mensa, cracking a joke or two, the one who will probably get a decent job in the near future. A man who makes his girl proud for what he is and would even stab if someone tries to touch the womenfolk in his family.

I have no reasons on this earth, then why he chose me, to witness the disgusting lecher within him.

Since I was sobbing, he thought I was weak and vulnerable. He started off with extending his help to “ease my suffering” (first in Deutsch and later on graduating to English when he realised that I didn’t get the language).

I will spare you the unsavoury details but I was too shocked to retaliate in the beginning. All I heard at that point of time was a noise, of a very strange kind. It was like a mixture of wounded soldiers screaming out in a battlefield, whining of a distressed woman, howling of an animal in pain. I just can’t explain it. But when I gained my senses back, I reacted sharply. He smirked and I completely lost it, so much so that I shouted out a deafening shriek. No exaggerations intended, but trust me, half a minute more and I would have killed him, then and there.

My momma didn’t raise me a dummy. That bastard took me for nuts to think that at 10 in the night, I would be floored, thinking about his genuinely selfless gesture and altruism to gladly do a favour for a stranger like me. And to emulate his benevolence, I would comply with his request to get laid with him.

On realising that he was wrong in taking me for a cheap knock-off of a Moulin Rouge beauty, he left, grinning like the true asshole that he was. The corny, vulgar stuff he blurted out, his sickening breath, the thought of him, all of it, still makes me want to run to the loo and throw up. Fucker.

I don’t want to make this post sound like a cluster of swear words stringed together by a wailing, frustrated woman who is either too ignorant to express herself properly or too lazy to look for subtle expressions. This blog isn’t a mere shout-box for me.

Nor do I intend to pass on a holier-than-thou judgement on men and make a gross generalisation. That’s the last thing on my mind. In fact, throughout my life, most of my good friends have belonged to the opposite sex, and I still maintain that belief.

I just wonder what makes some men the way they are. I’m sure none of them ever wish to humiliate women out of their own volition. Then what is it? Which societal norm, which school of thought makes them subject their female counterparts to such huge mortification?

There are no boundaries that define the group of people who deserve to be respected. Disrespect for any living being is against the very principle of existence. Although unacceptable on any grounds,whatsoever, but for once I can gulp down, if I see this orthodox malice coming from an uncouth man. But it’s surreal, that more often than not, women are subjugated to such oppressive behaviour by the so called “educated” fraction of the society. And this makes me reckon the literacy rate of the world.


justforpraveen said...
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justforpraveen said...

Pretty unfortunate incident. But still don't panic.You will find freaks around anywhere in the world but we just can't give up our freedom in fear.Rather we should learn how to deal with them.

I have lived over three months in Germany & I found it safe "enough" even late in the night.At least I would not dare to walk alone on the roads late in the night any where in India likewise.

I don't believe alcohol can change someones nature in an instant.

Harish - Check it out said...

Well, the news s such people exist everywhere, probably its good that you retaliated, not only did you give the person what he deserved, somewhere it should have brought out your anguish for these many days also. I might not be the right person to tell this, not knowing what you went through these past few days, but dont let those agonizing moments take the better of you!

Arpita said...


Having travelled in Delhi buses all my life, trapped in that huge sea of body masses rubbing against each other and a deadly concoction of five different body odours, not to forget the horrendous music blasting in the background,this shoudn't have shocked me.

Hell..I go mad thinking about it because I had never anticipated it!

Though,I might think twice now before hitting a place alone in the night, it will definitly not curb my independence...for sure..

And yes some people are plain sick in their heads..drunk or sober..doesn't make a difference.

BTW thanks for going through and placing your comforting opinion. I appreciate it.

Arpita said...

Actually to be candid, the first thing my mind told me was “use your common sense, shouting is not a wise option at all..what if he stabs you?”. (Mujhe Germany main nahi marna hai bhai!)
But that rascal just didn't stop passing those jack-ass comments!So,I had to blast out( trust me the past few days have made me talk in bullets!!)
Nai yaar..this phase shall pass too and I will come out unscratched.
Thanks :)

justforpraveen said...

Very true.The incident must have appeared more shocking since you don't expect such a thing everyday.

So be very cautious and do not worry dialing SOS/police silently if you happen to need help.Though I wish you do not encounter such a thing again.

Elamparithi said...

Its terrifying incident which you've gone through. but u handled the situation well. always some crazy people out every where. pitty.. take care..

Harish - Check it out said...

well, coming out unscratched is a different thing, but bearing the pain for too long will leave deep scars (what do u know, i can use metaphors too!) and I really dont want to b sounding giving so much of advices, like a budda, just relax and have some good tea, if u get..!! :D

Arpita said...

Yup..v true..good and bad..both the virtues are evenly distributed on planet earth:)

Arpita said...

Sahi hai..seekh rahe ho ;)

If u get???Why wouldn't I?
Waise when friends are upset toh chai peene ko nahi bolte, banakar kar pilate hai:P

Arpita said...

Hahaha..yeah..sure provided the
"Polizei" understands English in the first the time one gets through an English speaking cop, I will be buried underground with a flower pot decorating my grave!!:D

Harish - Check it out said...

are yaar.. mera bas chale to mein saari India ki chaai tujhe pilaata..!! lekin mere paas yahan chaai pathi nahin hai and i hate those paper bags..!! :D waise coffee chalega to i dont hav any problem, bas is naachis ko ek mail bhej dena..!! :D

justforpraveen said...
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justforpraveen said...

I usually spare a small time and learn a bit about local language to help me in crisis situations apart from normal day life. I knew very basic German within few weeks.

Now I am in a English speaking country but I wish to learn mandarin to abridge to local masses.

Unfortunately many live in places assuming they are not going to stay for long and just avoid crossing the language barrier. Once you cross it you will find you have more to explore !


Arpita said...

Well..I’m a real handicap when it comes to learning languages.
Yes, it’s sad. But that’s how it is! My Deutsch vocab consists majorly of survival words, huge thanks to my lab colleagues.
No notions as to “Damn. I’m not gonna stay here, so why pay a heck?” doing the rounds for me.
To be candid, I wish I could speak and understand the language,would have felt a bit less of an illiterate.

Arpita said...

It's better to offer no excuse than a bad one.
"Nalayak" is THE word for you!!