Sunday, September 28, 2008

An aunty with a jiiii!!

Okieeeee..now picture this.

A bright sunny weekend. With all that oooomph, you are just dressed up to kill. You get off the bus, and maaro those akhiyon se goli waale killer looks and a few gabroo-jawaans do turn their heads to catch a glimpse of you.

Ab kahani main twisht. Suddenly a cho-chweet rolly-polly, cutie pie bangs into you and says “Aunty”.
Errrrrrrrr..whaaaat?
Aunty ji!
Auntyyyyyyyyyyyyyy?????? AND jiiiiiiiii????

All that oomph goes poof....

In a flash the cuto transforms in to extremely badtameez 5-6 year old angootha-chaap kid, to whom you want to blurt out “Abbe?? Aunty hogi teri Ma”!! (I know I’m being very-very nasty, but an aunty and that too with a ji???? Grrrrrrrrrrrrrr!!)

Thank God the girl’s Punju 40+ mom turned up soon, shouting “ Kunnu puttar ” (or some other frikkkin name on the planet..whatever..I don’t care), else I would have beaten her to pulp! But to my horror, Mommy darling was no less either, while walking away; she said “Beta, aunty-ji ko bye bolo!!” and smirked. (Alright, I’m exaggerating, she didn’t smirk but she giggled. For sure!)

I know my hair is going a little salt n pepper, the sunshine glow on my face has faded a bit and I don’t hop around in the same energetic gate anymore. So what? Even then, people don’t have to be so generous with the term "aunty".

Makes me kind of recall that Godrej hair dye adverstisement where they kept echoing “Aunty..Aunty..Aunty ”!!! And the woman (aunty) gets hold of the product to paint her hair black and impress her Patidev and the rest of the battalion of weirdos! I know that after marriage every female is taken for a default aunty by the Indians (be it in India or Indians in Germany!) But excuse muaah? There’s no mangalsutra or sindoor on me to testify the matrimony, then mujh kuwaari kanya par yeh atyachaar kyun?


Which reminds me that the last time I visited my Tam aunt (chachi) in Chennai, her maid Sundari used to address me as “Amma” :( And as obvious as it can get, Sundari was no longer sundar in my eyes !!.

BTW I could not care less what they call me, but just for the sake of the “feel good” factor, I ask “Knock …knock..Upparwaale, if I’m aunty(ji), then Madhuri is Madhuri Aunty and Madonna is Aunt Madonna too...right? Insaaf is all I seek!! Amen”

17 comments:

justforpraveen said...

Hey ..This is the age when you really hate being called those oldish names hi hi :P

Unfortunately English vocab allows usage of this word across a wide age range.mami chachi bhabhi all are aunties and for unmarried except "young lady" or "sis" what else could someone say? Kid ofc would not say this and neither his mom will teach him say this.

Don't worry being an "aunt" is a good feeling :P. Now you can marry an "uncle" of u r choice :P

Anand said...

Long back, I remember few kids, not less than 15 yrs in age (we were around 25 then) came to our house asking "uncle ji, ganesh puja ke liye chanda de dijiye").
Our reply was "BETA, aunty ji aayengi, tab aana, she would give you"
They definitely knew we were unmarried, but they just couldn't do anything and went back!!!!!!!!
So, enjoy these "aunty jiiiiii!!!!!"

Harish - Check it out said...

Well, I was starting to feel sorry for you, until your comparison with Madhuri and Madonna, way too exaggerating..!! just for the looks, not the age factor..!!

Arpita said...

@Praveen
Yup..I got it..reasonable enough.The poverty of English language makes you call even a jeans clad-cropped hair-23 year old woman "aunty"..bohoooo.
But the irony is the kiddo wasn't videshi but a 'teth Punju Desi'..."Didi" bol deti yaar ;)

Arre nai..it's all in good humour (main insaaniyat ki devi jo hoon!!hahahaha)
My cousins call me Chitti which I guess in Tamil means Maasi. But its sweet coz I have seen them growing up in front of my eyes.

BTW the girl was indeed a sweetheart..its her mom who is the "Super Aunty"

Arpita said...

@Anand
Hahahaha..yeah I remember the Janamashti-Diwali battalion doing rounds at our house also..Thank God kabhi "aunty" nai bola..nai to atthani bhi nai deti :D

Arpita said...

@Harish
FYKI I was just deducing a parallel in terms of age,the gliterrati being much older than me. I'm sure by no means I can ever match Madhuri's grace and Maddona's persona!!N needless to say, I don't want to!
Anyhow I pardon the brutality of the comment, since I see it coming from a "Paedayeshi Uncle" :P

Harish - Check it out said...

oooh..!! looks like some just had a brain short ckt..!! :D anyways i have been under the same scenario too back in India, but for some one doing a PhD, i think u shud grow up..!! :D :D

Arpita said...

@Harish
You plagiarist!!
Try and be innovative, lest you are too dim to do so :P

Harish - Check it out said...

lol..!! :D I put forth my innovation for useful stuffs..!! :D

Elamparithi said...

Hey,
Amma in tamil means mother but often it is used to express respect (instead of madam)
Guess sundari always called u madam.
I remember, when i was living in hosur (near by Bangalore but belongs to tamilnadu) and near by villages where lot of telugu people live. They have funny way of saying hello or calling u…irrespective of their and ur age they call u anna (means elder brother)
So my neighbour (aunty) always called me anna (my age was 24 and her age was 50)
Still I am trying to come out of this shock…

Arpita said...

@Harish
What an irony, because once you put forth your innovation, the stuff looses its utility anyhow :D

Arpita said...

@Elamparithi
Yeah talk about love for "annas" and "ammas" hahahahaha

Now that you elucidated the facts,("Madam"..sounds too cool!!hahahaha)I will bail out Sundari from the lifelong detest sentence.

Harish - Check it out said...

a certain amount of understanding does require, when it comes to utilizing my innovations, which a few cant comprehend that easily..!! :D

Anonymous said...

let me remind you of an incident....a salesman asked me once if iam a housewife or a working woman..hmmmmmmmmmm..yaad aaya??? tab main nanni si bachchi thi...12 years old..

Anonymous said...

that comment was posted by me-munmun

Arpita said...

@Harish
A ten page long guideline would suffice for "certain amount of understanding"? (if one can comprehend at all!!!)

Arpita said...

@Mun
Us salesman ki aisi ki taisi!!
Aakhon ki jagan yeh wadde-wadde button fit kiye hue the!!
Onnanu chaado..aap toh hamesha hamari akkhan vich sweet sixteen hi rahoge!