Okieeeee..now picture this.
A bright sunny weekend. With all that oooomph, you are just dressed up to kill. You get off the bus, and maaro those akhiyon se goli waale killer looks and a few gabroo-jawaans do turn their heads to catch a glimpse of you.
Ab kahani main twisht. Suddenly a cho-chweet rolly-polly, cutie pie bangs into you and says “Aunty”.
Auntyyyyyyyyyyyyyy?????? AND jiiiiiiiii????
All that oomph goes poof....
In a flash the cuto transforms in to extremely badtameez 5-6 year old angootha-chaap kid, to whom you want to blurt out “Abbe?? Aunty hogi teri Ma”!! (I know I’m being very-very nasty, but an aunty and that too with a ji???? Grrrrrrrrrrrrrr!!)
Thank God the girl’s Punju 40+ mom turned up soon, shouting “ Kunnu puttar ” (or some other frikkkin name on the planet..whatever..I don’t care), else I would have beaten her to pulp! But to my horror, Mommy darling was no less either, while walking away; she said “Beta, aunty-ji ko bye bolo!!” and smirked. (Alright, I’m exaggerating, she didn’t smirk but she giggled. For sure!)
I know my hair is going a little salt n pepper, the sunshine glow on my face has faded a bit and I don’t hop around in the same energetic gate anymore. So what? Even then, people don’t have to be so generous with the term "aunty".
Makes me kind of recall that Godrej hair dye adverstisement where they kept echoing “Aunty..Aunty..Aunty ”!!! And the woman (aunty) gets hold of the product to paint her hair black and impress her Patidev and the rest of the battalion of weirdos! I know that after marriage every female is taken for a default aunty by the Indians (be it in India or Indians in Germany!) But excuse muaah? There’s no mangalsutra or sindoor on me to testify the matrimony, then mujh kuwaari kanya par yeh atyachaar kyun?
Which reminds me that the last time I visited my Tam aunt (chachi) in Chennai, her maid Sundari used to address me as “Amma” :( And as obvious as it can get, Sundari was no longer sundar in my eyes !!.
BTW I could not care less what they call me, but just for the sake of the “feel good” factor, I ask “Knock …knock..Upparwaale, if I’m aunty(ji), then Madhuri is Madhuri Aunty and Madonna is Aunt Madonna too...right? Insaaf is all I seek!! Amen”